A Serious Set Back...The Price of "Skinny"!?!?!?!
Exactly 365 days from the day of my gastric bypass surgery I found myself once again undergoing another surgery...this time an emergency and of course it goes without saying that it was most unexpected. I have had such a smooth journey since my bypass last year. My weight loss has been awesome and all my vitamin and mineral levels have been fine. I have had loads of energy and have enjoyed many new physical activities with literally no side effects at all. It's been smooth sailing...until just over the past two or three weeks...
My last post talked about the scope that the bariatric surgeon performed last week to check that everything in terms of my pouch was healthy and that there were no leaks. He concluded from the scope that all was fine and that if anything, there might be a slight irritation at the bottom of the pouch where it enters the bowel/intestine. So, off I went home with a prescription for Prevacid, which is a medication to help reduce the inflammation and hopefully take care of the pain that I was experiencing when eating.
As the week progressed and I began to increase my diet again from liquids to softer solids, I was still experiencing a severe amount of pain in my abdomen. The only things that I could ingest without too much pain were liquids, water, juice etc. Anytime I tried to eat anything more solid, the pain increased.
I made it through the weekend and on Sunday evening managed to eat a small salad, which seemed to go down with not too much pain but still a fair amount of discomfort. In time it passed and I was able to get some sleep. Monday morning I had a protein shake with soy milk and it seemed to go down ok, so I decided that I would try the salad for lunch again. When I got back to work after lunch I was literally doubled over in pain from my abdomen right through to my back. Anyone who knows me knows that I am pretty tough so it takes a lot to double me over...usually my pain tolerance is quite high...but this got me. I could barely sit in my office chair and could definitely not concentrate at all. After making a trip to the bathroom to see if I could get some relief I finally succumbed to the pain and called Todd to come a pick me up. As nauseous and doubled over as I was, my associate helped me down the elevator to wait for him. I was a mess.
When I got home I tried to lie in bed with the heating pad on my tummy hoping to get some relief but the pain only intensified and I was not coping that well. I was still doubled over and could find no position that gave any relief at all...it was increasing and I was wretching...but nothing was coming up...I was scared...
I finally ended up in the living room on the floor curled up rocking and holding my abdomen when Todd called the ambulance. I was weeping the pain was so great....I had never experienced anything like this in my life...not even when I had my children.
Once I made it to the emergency room at the hospital, it took them almost 5 hours to get my pain and vomiting under control. I was still crying and very afraid at this point...fearful that something had gone very wrong with my original bypass surgery. As a side note, you may or may not know, but there are a lot of risks associated with having bypass surgery and so some of the complications that can occur are really quite serious and even life threatening. I was in a panic on top of being in so much pain...
Once they managed to settle things down in terms of my pain they began to investigate with some x rays. They were looking for a hernia or sorts or an obstruction in the bowel, anything that would explain the intense pain I was in. After hours and hours of waiting, the Surgeon spoke to us and explained that they had found nothing out of the ordinary on the x rays but wanted to do a CT scan as a next step to try and diagnose what was going on.
The next day I had the CT scan and again, it yielded nothing. When the Surgeon came to speak to us to tell us that they could not see anything unusual on the scan, he explained that sometimes problems like this are intermittent and may not show up on a scan. He continued to explain that they did not really want to just let me go but felt that the best way to know what was going on was to perform a diagnostic laparoscopy the following day. During this surgical procedure they would be looking for a obstruction of the bowel (like a blockage or dead tissue) or any twists or knots in the intestine/bowel. If they found anything, they would fix it right then.
I must admit that at this point, because I hadn't eaten anything in about three days and was weary from sleeping in the emergency department for two nights, I was sort of thinking that this was a bit extreme. I had no pain in my tummy anymore (because I hadn't eaten) and I truthfully just wanted to go home...and because none of the tests had given any clues I thought it was just a one time thing and that they wouldn't find a thing in surgery....
I was wrong!!!! I headed off into surgery at about 3:00pm on Wednesday and when I woke up the Surgeon had explained to Todd and my Mom that when they went in to look they found a large amount of scar tissue (left from my original bypass surgery) had wound itself around my bowel/intestine just below the pouch and was strangling it. This was where the pain was coming from because nothing was able to pass through this portion of the intestine. They also found that there were some portions of the bowel that were beginning to twist and could cause a similar problem if not dealt with. So the Surgeon removed all the scar tissue and situated the bowel with stitches so that it would not twist in the future.
Whew! That was a lot...so today I'm at home because they had no beds to keep me, but I am under very very strict orders to rest. I have had a fair amount of pain from this surgery and really cannot move around that much. Of course, I am not able to lift anything and can't do a whole lot for myself (which is driving my crazy!!!!!), but I am so scared that I will "wreck" things inside, I am submitting to it and trying to enjoy the pampering!!!!
My mom went home and so Todd is here looking after me and is doing a fabulous job...poor guy...I am NOT a very good patient!!! I think he is about one step away from strapping me to the recliner!!!!
Some might ask if I now regret having the bypass surgery because of this complication...and to that I would answer answer a resounding NO! My quality of life is still far better and this little set back is just that, a set back and can be easily overcome and I will soon be back on my way again...just a time to rest and regroup and let my body heal. After all, it has been through a lot over the last year and might just need some time to catch up...
So, one foot in front of the other I continue on this incredible journey and will not be defeated...despite this little hiccup...I am still way healthier today than I was a 462 lbs a year ago!!
Saturday, September 25, 2010
Thursday, September 16, 2010
Momentarily Down...But Definitely NOT Out!!!
Well, this week has been a bit of a roller coaster...the first real "complication" I have experienced since my surgery last September 22nd. Last weekend I began to experience severe pains in my abdomen when I was eating and afterwards would be literally doubled over in pain. I thought it was the routine "gas" issue that I have experienced since surgery and so went crazy taking GasX in an effort to find some relief....but to no avail!
To make a long story short, Wednesday afternoon I ended up in the emergency room at Humber Regional Hospital (where bypass surgeries are performed her in Toronto) and after a battery of tests and x-rays, the bariatric surgeon decided that the best thing was to perform a scope of my pouch and upper bowel the following day. To my relief, that night, the x-rays indicated that there was no obstruction of the bowel or hernia, which are common after surgery. Although I was still in a fair amount of pain, especially when eating anything, I was so glad that things weren't as serious as I had feared.
The next day I went back into the hospital and under general anesthetic, the Surgeon scoped out my pouch and intestine. The good news was that there were no leaks or compromising of the pouch and he confirmed there were no ulcers or hernia issues. The inside lining of my pouch near the bottom where the food enters the intestine, however, had become irritated though, which was causing all the pain I was experiencing when food or liquids were trying to pas through. He called it gastritis, which is basically an inflammation of the lining of the stomach or pouch. The best news of this is that it is easily treated. So, off I went from the hospital after my procedure with a prescription for a special ant acid (which happens to cost an arm and a leg!!!!!), which will in time coat and protect the lining of my pouch. This will help to soothe the irritation as well so that I don't experience so much discomfort while eating.
For now, I am back eating very light and liquidy foods like soup broth and clear fluids. These seem to be less irritating on my little tummy at the moment. Slowly over time, the surgeon encouraged me to start eating more and more solids as I am able to tolerate them.
I can't tell you how scared I was over the past days thinking that despite my best efforts over the past year, I had somehow damaged my pouch. Repairing problems after bypass surgery is no easy feat and can often lead to other more invasive surgeries and longer recovery periods and also further complications. So far, I have been so very blessed that my surgery was so successful and that I have been able to come so far in just a year.
So that was my little escapade for this week....I still have absolutely no regrets for having had the surgery a year ago...and despite this little hiccup, I am just as determined today as ever to continue on full force along this incredible journey in my life....
Well, this week has been a bit of a roller coaster...the first real "complication" I have experienced since my surgery last September 22nd. Last weekend I began to experience severe pains in my abdomen when I was eating and afterwards would be literally doubled over in pain. I thought it was the routine "gas" issue that I have experienced since surgery and so went crazy taking GasX in an effort to find some relief....but to no avail!
To make a long story short, Wednesday afternoon I ended up in the emergency room at Humber Regional Hospital (where bypass surgeries are performed her in Toronto) and after a battery of tests and x-rays, the bariatric surgeon decided that the best thing was to perform a scope of my pouch and upper bowel the following day. To my relief, that night, the x-rays indicated that there was no obstruction of the bowel or hernia, which are common after surgery. Although I was still in a fair amount of pain, especially when eating anything, I was so glad that things weren't as serious as I had feared.
The next day I went back into the hospital and under general anesthetic, the Surgeon scoped out my pouch and intestine. The good news was that there were no leaks or compromising of the pouch and he confirmed there were no ulcers or hernia issues. The inside lining of my pouch near the bottom where the food enters the intestine, however, had become irritated though, which was causing all the pain I was experiencing when food or liquids were trying to pas through. He called it gastritis, which is basically an inflammation of the lining of the stomach or pouch. The best news of this is that it is easily treated. So, off I went from the hospital after my procedure with a prescription for a special ant acid (which happens to cost an arm and a leg!!!!!), which will in time coat and protect the lining of my pouch. This will help to soothe the irritation as well so that I don't experience so much discomfort while eating.
For now, I am back eating very light and liquidy foods like soup broth and clear fluids. These seem to be less irritating on my little tummy at the moment. Slowly over time, the surgeon encouraged me to start eating more and more solids as I am able to tolerate them.
I can't tell you how scared I was over the past days thinking that despite my best efforts over the past year, I had somehow damaged my pouch. Repairing problems after bypass surgery is no easy feat and can often lead to other more invasive surgeries and longer recovery periods and also further complications. So far, I have been so very blessed that my surgery was so successful and that I have been able to come so far in just a year.
So that was my little escapade for this week....I still have absolutely no regrets for having had the surgery a year ago...and despite this little hiccup, I am just as determined today as ever to continue on full force along this incredible journey in my life....
Monday, September 6, 2010
Back To School....
Well, tomorrow is back to school for my kiddos, David and Ruthie, and I am not sure but I would venture to guess that I am more excited than they are!!!! Why, you may ask?? Not for the same reasons as most parnts after a long summer of having kids home but because it will be the first time that I am actually looking forward to walking them to the back of the school yard and standing and waiting with the other parents until the kids head off for their first day. Other years, the first day of school was dreaded because I would have to walk so far and then have to stand for a period of time before the kids went in...couple that with the fact that my knees and ankles and back were aching the whole time and the sweat was rolling down the middle of my back, and you probably guessed it was uncomfortable to say the least. Not only all of that from a physical perspective, but emotionally I was a wreck...feeling so conspicuous as the "biggest" mom of all the mom's and self conscious of my physical appearance and clothing...the anxiety I experienced as a result of my weight during even the most "normal" of activities was overwhelming.
This year, my heart is full as I anticipate escorting my children for their first day, Ruthie in grade 1 and David in grade 4. I am so grateful that o can now fully concentrate on spending these precious moments with my children instead of fretting and worrying and being so completely preoccupied with my weight that I forget the importance of the "now" with them...days and moments that will never come to pass again...
Today, I am so very thankful for the new perspective I have gained as a result of this journey...and especially, the fact that so much of the burden of weight has been lifted so that I can now truly "live" and enjoy each moment of my life....
Well, tomorrow is back to school for my kiddos, David and Ruthie, and I am not sure but I would venture to guess that I am more excited than they are!!!! Why, you may ask?? Not for the same reasons as most parnts after a long summer of having kids home but because it will be the first time that I am actually looking forward to walking them to the back of the school yard and standing and waiting with the other parents until the kids head off for their first day. Other years, the first day of school was dreaded because I would have to walk so far and then have to stand for a period of time before the kids went in...couple that with the fact that my knees and ankles and back were aching the whole time and the sweat was rolling down the middle of my back, and you probably guessed it was uncomfortable to say the least. Not only all of that from a physical perspective, but emotionally I was a wreck...feeling so conspicuous as the "biggest" mom of all the mom's and self conscious of my physical appearance and clothing...the anxiety I experienced as a result of my weight during even the most "normal" of activities was overwhelming.
This year, my heart is full as I anticipate escorting my children for their first day, Ruthie in grade 1 and David in grade 4. I am so grateful that o can now fully concentrate on spending these precious moments with my children instead of fretting and worrying and being so completely preoccupied with my weight that I forget the importance of the "now" with them...days and moments that will never come to pass again...
Today, I am so very thankful for the new perspective I have gained as a result of this journey...and especially, the fact that so much of the burden of weight has been lifted so that I can now truly "live" and enjoy each moment of my life....
Wednesday, September 1, 2010
Approaching The One Year Mark....
Wow!!!! It's been 5 months since I have posted on my Blog and there have certainly been many many milestones and significant moments over that period of time. Let's just say that life has been moving along...really fast...and my activity level has increased monumentally!!!! So much so, that I have not had time to sit quietly and just reflect on the past year of my life...
It was a year ago on August 1st that I began my pre op diet in preparation for my Gastric Bypass surgery...I began really watching my portions, slowing down on the sugars and fats and eating an array of healthy foods and protien shakes for a month or so before surgery. At that time I weighed well over 450lbs...
On September 22nd, 2009 I began the most life changing experience of my entire journey thus far in my 33 years of living...it has been a whirlwind to say the least, one with ups and downs but one well worth the time, energy, waiting, wondering and hard work....
Today, I am almost 225lbs less than what I weighed a year ago and my life is not the same. I live! I actually live life beyond the four walls of my home and office cubicle. My everyday is filled with activity or sorts, from taking a walk to Tim Horton's or Starbuck's, to playing street hockey with my son, splashing around in our pool in my bathing suit or taking a leisurely ride on my brand new bike with the kids...I even broke out my old rollerblades from over 10 years ago and took them for a spin!!! What a feeling! What a rush...and no, I didn't fall!!!
Life is so different for me today...I no longer panic if I can't find a parking space close enough to the door at the grocery store...before I would break out in a cold sweat at the thought of having to haul myself that far from the truck to the door, not to mention the sweating as I walked through the grocery store and the pain in my back and legs...it was so painful....not only physically, but mentally and emotionally too. That 450lb woman was not Ally. She was merely trapped inside this morbidly unwell body...it had to change...and it did.
I went to Florida for a week with my mom and my best friend, Hannah, to celebrate on year of my new life. Again, it was awesome!!! Not only did I walk with ease the marathon of Pearson International Airport, I sat in the seat on the flight and snapped my seatbelt closed liesurely like all the other passengers on board...the "normal" people as I call them...no seatbelt extension for me, thanks! For once it was a wonrfully comportable flight...
Once I got to Florida I enjoyed so many activities that a year ago I would never have even dreamed or entertained the thought of doing! I went to the beach almost everyday...yes, in my bathing suit and I took my cover up off to go in the water with pride...so happy with my new body!! Even though I have a massive amount of skin and the remnants and scars of being that overweight for so long still show, I was proud to be standing on the beach in my new bathing suit and comfortable to just be me, Ally, and enjoy the water and my surroundings instead of being on the side lines as I had been for so long...watching and longing to be free.
The shopping was a whole other story, which, I am not going to confess in full lest the Customs Agency ger wind of it!!!!! My goodness...I have never ever in my entire life had the shopping success that I had this trip!!! It was absolutely surreal to walk into a plus size store and be at the smallest end of the sizing...and even more fantastic to just pick items off the shelf in my new size, put them on, and have them actually fit like a glove!!!! It was litterally a dream come true...all those years as a little girl being on the chubby end of things and wearing tight pants and ill fitting shirts, the crying in the change rooms over jeans that I desperately wanted to wear but they just didn't fit...all the tears, all the struggles, all the disappointments of the past as it related to my weight were redeemed!!!! And it was because of my choice a year ago...and the support of so so many people in my life who encouraged me to do what I had to do to be healthy and "live"....
There is so much more I could pour out but I have to sign off for now...have to go fill my pouch with a little protien!!!
Thank you to all of you who have continued to follow my journey and show such interest and support...I could never have done it without each and every one of you...
Love yaz all...keep watching...there's more to come....
The journey continues....I'm not done yet!!!
Wow!!!! It's been 5 months since I have posted on my Blog and there have certainly been many many milestones and significant moments over that period of time. Let's just say that life has been moving along...really fast...and my activity level has increased monumentally!!!! So much so, that I have not had time to sit quietly and just reflect on the past year of my life...
It was a year ago on August 1st that I began my pre op diet in preparation for my Gastric Bypass surgery...I began really watching my portions, slowing down on the sugars and fats and eating an array of healthy foods and protien shakes for a month or so before surgery. At that time I weighed well over 450lbs...
On September 22nd, 2009 I began the most life changing experience of my entire journey thus far in my 33 years of living...it has been a whirlwind to say the least, one with ups and downs but one well worth the time, energy, waiting, wondering and hard work....
Today, I am almost 225lbs less than what I weighed a year ago and my life is not the same. I live! I actually live life beyond the four walls of my home and office cubicle. My everyday is filled with activity or sorts, from taking a walk to Tim Horton's or Starbuck's, to playing street hockey with my son, splashing around in our pool in my bathing suit or taking a leisurely ride on my brand new bike with the kids...I even broke out my old rollerblades from over 10 years ago and took them for a spin!!! What a feeling! What a rush...and no, I didn't fall!!!
Life is so different for me today...I no longer panic if I can't find a parking space close enough to the door at the grocery store...before I would break out in a cold sweat at the thought of having to haul myself that far from the truck to the door, not to mention the sweating as I walked through the grocery store and the pain in my back and legs...it was so painful....not only physically, but mentally and emotionally too. That 450lb woman was not Ally. She was merely trapped inside this morbidly unwell body...it had to change...and it did.
I went to Florida for a week with my mom and my best friend, Hannah, to celebrate on year of my new life. Again, it was awesome!!! Not only did I walk with ease the marathon of Pearson International Airport, I sat in the seat on the flight and snapped my seatbelt closed liesurely like all the other passengers on board...the "normal" people as I call them...no seatbelt extension for me, thanks! For once it was a wonrfully comportable flight...
Once I got to Florida I enjoyed so many activities that a year ago I would never have even dreamed or entertained the thought of doing! I went to the beach almost everyday...yes, in my bathing suit and I took my cover up off to go in the water with pride...so happy with my new body!! Even though I have a massive amount of skin and the remnants and scars of being that overweight for so long still show, I was proud to be standing on the beach in my new bathing suit and comfortable to just be me, Ally, and enjoy the water and my surroundings instead of being on the side lines as I had been for so long...watching and longing to be free.
The shopping was a whole other story, which, I am not going to confess in full lest the Customs Agency ger wind of it!!!!! My goodness...I have never ever in my entire life had the shopping success that I had this trip!!! It was absolutely surreal to walk into a plus size store and be at the smallest end of the sizing...and even more fantastic to just pick items off the shelf in my new size, put them on, and have them actually fit like a glove!!!! It was litterally a dream come true...all those years as a little girl being on the chubby end of things and wearing tight pants and ill fitting shirts, the crying in the change rooms over jeans that I desperately wanted to wear but they just didn't fit...all the tears, all the struggles, all the disappointments of the past as it related to my weight were redeemed!!!! And it was because of my choice a year ago...and the support of so so many people in my life who encouraged me to do what I had to do to be healthy and "live"....
There is so much more I could pour out but I have to sign off for now...have to go fill my pouch with a little protien!!!
Thank you to all of you who have continued to follow my journey and show such interest and support...I could never have done it without each and every one of you...
Love yaz all...keep watching...there's more to come....
The journey continues....I'm not done yet!!!
Tuesday, March 30, 2010
Thursday, December 31, 2009
Another first...
Today, I finally made use of some free Cineplex movie coupons and a gift card that had been burning a hole in my wallet for over a year...maybe even 2!!! One of the goals that I set out and hoped to reach before ringing in the New Year was to be able to go to a movie theatre and enjoy a movie in comfort. Well, today I did it! Seems rather trivial, I know and to many I suppose it is insignificant. But today was special to me because I have never ever sat in a movie theatre with my children before and I hadn't been myself in over 6 years!! It was wonderful to be able to take the kids on this type of outing and not have any anxiety whatsoever about "fitting" or worrying about looking and feeling uncomfortable in the seats. Instead, we marched in, bought our tickets and some popcorn and found a seat in the theatre. It was wonderful to share this moment with my kiddos too...they have been such motivation along this journey...in many ways, they have, without even knowing it, kept me focused and driven toward my goal. I am so glad that we got to share this moment together and before 2010 began!!
What a wonderful feeling to set goals and actually have the tools and resources to meet them...especially for me when it comes to my weight. So many times I set out to loose and loose and would set goals for myself, even small ones, and never get there because it was just too overwhelming and the challenge seemed to defeat me over and over again. Not this time though...this time I am a survivor...this time I have conquered my weight and it no longer has the power to defeat me or hold me down or back from enjoying life.
Of course, I can't take all the credit for the all of progress I have made in recent months...God is sovereign...I have seen it in my life. He continues to hold all things pertaining to me in His exceptionally capable hands...what is required of me is to simply trust...and to trust even where I cannot see. My life is an example of such trust and certainly "leaning"...leaning heavily on the everlasting arms of the Father. There is absolutely no way that I would have ever been able to accomplish this on my own...my journey has been and continues to be, without a doubt, an entire series of "God Moments" strung together to create something beautiful...a life of love, hope and freedom, living moment to moment in the knowledge and assurance of His amazing grace.
As I sit here tonight, New Year's Eve 2009, the words of the chorus recently added to the traditional hymn Amazing Grace come to mind...they sum up my testimony and completely and perfectly articulate the sentiments that at this moment are overflowing from my heart....
My chains are gone,
I've been set free,
My God, my Saviour has ransomed me.
And like a flood, his mercy reigns,
Unending love, AMAZING GRACE.
Today, I finally made use of some free Cineplex movie coupons and a gift card that had been burning a hole in my wallet for over a year...maybe even 2!!! One of the goals that I set out and hoped to reach before ringing in the New Year was to be able to go to a movie theatre and enjoy a movie in comfort. Well, today I did it! Seems rather trivial, I know and to many I suppose it is insignificant. But today was special to me because I have never ever sat in a movie theatre with my children before and I hadn't been myself in over 6 years!! It was wonderful to be able to take the kids on this type of outing and not have any anxiety whatsoever about "fitting" or worrying about looking and feeling uncomfortable in the seats. Instead, we marched in, bought our tickets and some popcorn and found a seat in the theatre. It was wonderful to share this moment with my kiddos too...they have been such motivation along this journey...in many ways, they have, without even knowing it, kept me focused and driven toward my goal. I am so glad that we got to share this moment together and before 2010 began!!
What a wonderful feeling to set goals and actually have the tools and resources to meet them...especially for me when it comes to my weight. So many times I set out to loose and loose and would set goals for myself, even small ones, and never get there because it was just too overwhelming and the challenge seemed to defeat me over and over again. Not this time though...this time I am a survivor...this time I have conquered my weight and it no longer has the power to defeat me or hold me down or back from enjoying life.
Of course, I can't take all the credit for the all of progress I have made in recent months...God is sovereign...I have seen it in my life. He continues to hold all things pertaining to me in His exceptionally capable hands...what is required of me is to simply trust...and to trust even where I cannot see. My life is an example of such trust and certainly "leaning"...leaning heavily on the everlasting arms of the Father. There is absolutely no way that I would have ever been able to accomplish this on my own...my journey has been and continues to be, without a doubt, an entire series of "God Moments" strung together to create something beautiful...a life of love, hope and freedom, living moment to moment in the knowledge and assurance of His amazing grace.
As I sit here tonight, New Year's Eve 2009, the words of the chorus recently added to the traditional hymn Amazing Grace come to mind...they sum up my testimony and completely and perfectly articulate the sentiments that at this moment are overflowing from my heart....
My chains are gone,
I've been set free,
My God, my Saviour has ransomed me.
And like a flood, his mercy reigns,
Unending love, AMAZING GRACE.
Saturday, December 26, 2009
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A New Year...
This year has been no doubt one of the most eventful years of my life and has housed many a change, up's and down's and all kids of in between's. But as I am sitting here today looking out at the vastness of the ocean in front of me and on the very cusp of yet another year, I find myself looking forward with a much different outlook than I have in a very very long time...if ever. I feel a freshness about life, a newness about the adventures and possibilities that lay before me. Never before have I been so very excited to begin another year and again I as I have mentioned many times recently, I am full to the brim.
Yesterday afternoon my Dad and I went off the the beach to swim in the Gulf and how I felt as I dipped into the ocean was certainly no exception to the many wonderful "moments" I have enjoyed over the course of this journey. I walked confidently onto the beach in my bathing suit and cover up and took it off to run headlong into the huge breakers crashing against the shore. Dad and I swam and swam in the beautiful ocean for what must have been an hour. In those moments with my Dad as the billowing waves gently heaved me back and forth, I was reminded of the lightness that I now feel about life and most importantly I was reminded of the burden that has been miraculously lifted from my shoulders over the past months...I was reminded of the awesome power of the One who not only crafted the very essence and beauty of the ocean I was enjoying, but who also made my very own personal journey possible...this was for me what I have always called and "eternal moment"...a moment of epiphany and revelation....and my heart was overjoyed!
This year, 2010, if I were to make any sort of resolution, it would be a promise to myself that I will just keep on keeping on...in other words, keep on moving forward Ally and journeying forward and enjoy the newness of life each day...don't go backwards and only revisit the past to remind myself of the learning that has been done along the way and remember the lessons learned as a result of my journey thus far...the good, the bad and the ugly...
Although somewhat cliche and maybe a bit flippantly overused, God is good...and I mean that. He is. Of absolute tragic, life shattering, brokenness, He has brought about such good...and I can honestly say that I would not have wanted life to be any different for me because had it not gone this way, I would not be the Ally I am today...I would not be enjoying the beautiful opportunities and possibilities that I am on the verge of at this point in my life...so, Happy New Year and feel free to share my motto for 2010....JUST PRESS FORWARD (and try to do it with a smile...even if you have to force it!!! Trust me, it helps!!!!!!!!!)
This year has been no doubt one of the most eventful years of my life and has housed many a change, up's and down's and all kids of in between's. But as I am sitting here today looking out at the vastness of the ocean in front of me and on the very cusp of yet another year, I find myself looking forward with a much different outlook than I have in a very very long time...if ever. I feel a freshness about life, a newness about the adventures and possibilities that lay before me. Never before have I been so very excited to begin another year and again I as I have mentioned many times recently, I am full to the brim.
Yesterday afternoon my Dad and I went off the the beach to swim in the Gulf and how I felt as I dipped into the ocean was certainly no exception to the many wonderful "moments" I have enjoyed over the course of this journey. I walked confidently onto the beach in my bathing suit and cover up and took it off to run headlong into the huge breakers crashing against the shore. Dad and I swam and swam in the beautiful ocean for what must have been an hour. In those moments with my Dad as the billowing waves gently heaved me back and forth, I was reminded of the lightness that I now feel about life and most importantly I was reminded of the burden that has been miraculously lifted from my shoulders over the past months...I was reminded of the awesome power of the One who not only crafted the very essence and beauty of the ocean I was enjoying, but who also made my very own personal journey possible...this was for me what I have always called and "eternal moment"...a moment of epiphany and revelation....and my heart was overjoyed!
This year, 2010, if I were to make any sort of resolution, it would be a promise to myself that I will just keep on keeping on...in other words, keep on moving forward Ally and journeying forward and enjoy the newness of life each day...don't go backwards and only revisit the past to remind myself of the learning that has been done along the way and remember the lessons learned as a result of my journey thus far...the good, the bad and the ugly...
Although somewhat cliche and maybe a bit flippantly overused, God is good...and I mean that. He is. Of absolute tragic, life shattering, brokenness, He has brought about such good...and I can honestly say that I would not have wanted life to be any different for me because had it not gone this way, I would not be the Ally I am today...I would not be enjoying the beautiful opportunities and possibilities that I am on the verge of at this point in my life...so, Happy New Year and feel free to share my motto for 2010....JUST PRESS FORWARD (and try to do it with a smile...even if you have to force it!!! Trust me, it helps!!!!!!!!!)
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