Continuing the Journey....
I went to Canadian Tire and Shoe Company this week one evening...seems quite insignificant, doesn't it?? And you are probably wondering why I'm journalling about it. Well is it definitely not insignificant but rather another huge milestone for me along this whole journey back to or into the "real"Allison...the fact is, since I had gained so much weight, I had been unable to go to these stores because of the whirly thing you had to walk through in order to get in...you know, those turn style thingees that they have at the entrance of certain stores or at sports arenas and at the subway station. Well, at the weight and size I was, I just didn't fit and would have easily gotten stuck attempting to make my way through one of these things. Instead, I would have had to ask a clerk to open the "special" gate for allowing mother's with strollers into the store. So, I simply avoided going to such stores at all. Crazy, I know...but it's my story. This week though, all that changed and I went to Canadian Tire THREE times and Shoe Company TWICE!!! I smiled with sheer delight every time I went through the turn style...and actually today when I went to Canadian Tire with Ed, I had him turn around and stop and watch me go through!!!!! I was so proud of myself...I am finally starting to feel normal!!! Oh yes, and I got an AMAZING pair of boots at the Shoe Company too...and they even have a heel!!! Haven't worn heels in ages!!!
On to other things...someone posted a good question about my journey that I felt was worth an answer. So, I'd like to address it the best I can...the question was about the loss of my "drug of choice" = FOOD and how that has had an effect on me during this journey. Food definitely was a drug for me, a way to numb all sorts of feelings and emotions that at times were just too much for me to bear. So, I would tell myself that if I could just make it through yet another day and be a good mother and a good wife and a good officer, I would reward myself with a nice snack at the end of the day. The "snack" usually consisted of a bag of chips, a container of dill pickle dip and a tub of ice cream...something like that. This lasted on and off for many years, definitely through my 20's, while I was having my children and being married and then divorced. I suppose the best way to explain it is to say that my fat and my food became my very best, faithful, constant companions through times that were so deeply painful and when I felt abandoned by all else. I could always depend on them and they made me feel better if only for a moment.
So, how did or does the change in thinking take place?? I'm not entirely sure, but for me it has been a real process and more specifically, it has been a process, a journey of self-discovery. Even though up until a few months ago my eating was insanely out of control and I was on a real downward spiral with my health, there was something amazing happening inside me. Despite my size and my disability of being morbidly obese, I was discovering who the girl was underneath. I was so very large that I felt the impact of my weight with every movement every day...I knew that I was dying a very slow death by expecting my heart to continue to pump through my body everyday. I think that as I came to the realization that I was living on borrowed time and that my tiny frame was not able to support me very well anymore, that I decided that I needed to let my "old friends", my fat and my food go. I did not need them anymore because I was Allison...a smart, pretty, loving, compassionate, competent woman and I had every reason to live. Do I miss my drug of choice? No. Not at all. I don't miss it at all because I have discovered something far more valuable...I have discovered me...with all my faults and failings, yes, but equally I have discovered the authentic Allison...the Allison who is no longer defined by her fat or the food that made her obese...but who is defined by the attributes she possesses both inside and out.
It's been an incredible journey. It not been an easy one at all, but one of serious personal introspection and a sincere openness to change. Even though many times it was uncomfortable to admit my failures and the personal responsibility that I had in getting the way I was, I know that the change had to begin from the inside. Now, I have been given the amazing opportunity for the outside to match!! Will I ever be perfect? Or have a perfect body? Or look like Angelina Jolie??? Nope!! Never!!! But I am happy because I never want to be in the position of watching life pass me by and not being able physically to join in. I am happy because I am no longer imprisoned by the chains of my obesity. I am happy because I chose life the day I got up on the operating table in Utica, NY. I am happy because I am free.
Saturday, October 24, 2009
Wednesday, October 21, 2009
Before and After...So Far...
Some of you have been asking for a before and after picture of me thus far to see the transformation....so, seeing as today was a good day (AND I went to the MAC counter at the Bay!!!), I will post pictures to compare...just gonna do face pictures for now...the full body shots will come later...let me know what you think! The before picture was taken the day I got out of the hospital after my surgery and the after picture was taken, of course, today!
Monday, October 19, 2009
I Know It's Been A While...
It's almost been a whole week since I posted last here on my Blog....I suppose I was wondering how interesting my rants and goings on really were to people!!! Or, if anyone was actually reading them!!!! Aside from that though, life has just been really hectic, even though I am not at work everyday. Anyway...............
So, tomorrow marks 4 weeks post op for me and I am continuing to do really well...or so I think. I haven't weighed lately so I don't have an exact weight loss figure, but I know that everyday more and more is coming off. Despite the knowledge that the weight is melting off, for some reason over the past week or so I have been frustrated and upset about the fact that it's not coming off fast enough...at least that was my perspective. I think that it's harder for me to actually see the loss day by day because I look at my self everyday...and also, I know that I still have so far to go. When I am out and around though and I see people I know, they are always quick to give complements and encouragement. Unless they are all lying to me, I guess I am getting smaller regardless of my feelings of discouragement!!! I appreciate so much the support of so many people in all of this and the assurance of people's interesting in my journey. It means so very much.
Last Thursday, my menu of allowed foods broadened again and so off to Walmart I went to gather a few things to try over the next few weeks. I will continue to eat this broadened list of foods for weeks 4, 5 & 6 post op. After that, I will begin to add more foods to my menu and experiment with how my new stomach responds to foods I used to eat.
Over the past week, the amount of food that I am able to eat per meal was to increase from 1/4 cup for a 1/2 cup. This is the maximum amount of solid food that I will be able to consume at one time. So, I have three of these 1/2 cup servings per day now and in between I continue to drink calorie free or low calorie fluids. It is very important post surgery to be sure that I stay hydrated because I am consuming so much less. Constant fluids is the key, although I have to stop drinking 1/2 hour before meals and then I can't drink during or for 1 hour after my meals. I get so thirsty, but I am learning to be ok with it!
Tonight, I had probably the most involved meal that I have had since my surgery and it finally tasted like I was eating "real" food or a real meal and not just a snack! I had a 1/4 cup of baked halibut and a 1/4 cup of butternut squash! It was so good, I actually felt like I was cheating my new diet. The greatest thing about it though was that it was what I was supposed to be eating. By the time I got to the end of my little meal, I was so full....it felt like I had just eaten an entire Thanksgiving dinner!! The wonderful thing about it is that I knew that I had only eaten a1/2 cup of food!!!! I felt so very satisfied and I can't wait to have more squash tomorrow!
Ok, well, I suppose that's enough for tonight...I don't want to bore you all....I will post again in a few days....all in all, it's going great and I STILL don't regret it!!! And I absolutely LOVE that I can walk around the entire block with my kids and keep up!!! Oh yes, and Bill, that brand new shiny red bike won't be long now in coming....I'll be riding it to work by Spring!!!!
It's almost been a whole week since I posted last here on my Blog....I suppose I was wondering how interesting my rants and goings on really were to people!!! Or, if anyone was actually reading them!!!! Aside from that though, life has just been really hectic, even though I am not at work everyday. Anyway...............
So, tomorrow marks 4 weeks post op for me and I am continuing to do really well...or so I think. I haven't weighed lately so I don't have an exact weight loss figure, but I know that everyday more and more is coming off. Despite the knowledge that the weight is melting off, for some reason over the past week or so I have been frustrated and upset about the fact that it's not coming off fast enough...at least that was my perspective. I think that it's harder for me to actually see the loss day by day because I look at my self everyday...and also, I know that I still have so far to go. When I am out and around though and I see people I know, they are always quick to give complements and encouragement. Unless they are all lying to me, I guess I am getting smaller regardless of my feelings of discouragement!!! I appreciate so much the support of so many people in all of this and the assurance of people's interesting in my journey. It means so very much.
Last Thursday, my menu of allowed foods broadened again and so off to Walmart I went to gather a few things to try over the next few weeks. I will continue to eat this broadened list of foods for weeks 4, 5 & 6 post op. After that, I will begin to add more foods to my menu and experiment with how my new stomach responds to foods I used to eat.
Over the past week, the amount of food that I am able to eat per meal was to increase from 1/4 cup for a 1/2 cup. This is the maximum amount of solid food that I will be able to consume at one time. So, I have three of these 1/2 cup servings per day now and in between I continue to drink calorie free or low calorie fluids. It is very important post surgery to be sure that I stay hydrated because I am consuming so much less. Constant fluids is the key, although I have to stop drinking 1/2 hour before meals and then I can't drink during or for 1 hour after my meals. I get so thirsty, but I am learning to be ok with it!
Tonight, I had probably the most involved meal that I have had since my surgery and it finally tasted like I was eating "real" food or a real meal and not just a snack! I had a 1/4 cup of baked halibut and a 1/4 cup of butternut squash! It was so good, I actually felt like I was cheating my new diet. The greatest thing about it though was that it was what I was supposed to be eating. By the time I got to the end of my little meal, I was so full....it felt like I had just eaten an entire Thanksgiving dinner!! The wonderful thing about it is that I knew that I had only eaten a1/2 cup of food!!!! I felt so very satisfied and I can't wait to have more squash tomorrow!
Ok, well, I suppose that's enough for tonight...I don't want to bore you all....I will post again in a few days....all in all, it's going great and I STILL don't regret it!!! And I absolutely LOVE that I can walk around the entire block with my kids and keep up!!! Oh yes, and Bill, that brand new shiny red bike won't be long now in coming....I'll be riding it to work by Spring!!!!
Tuesday, October 13, 2009
3 Weeks
Today, I am three weeks post surgery which means that I am now past the most critical stage postoperatively. This means that my inside incisions are well on their way to being healed and my new stomach pouch is getting used to holding a little more food at one time. I am now able to enjoy a few more selections when it comes to my menu each day. I can have a little tuna salad, 2 small crackers, toast as well as the foods from the previous week...I am still very much enjoying mashed potatoes!!! On Thursday of this week, my diet changes again and I am going to be able to experiment with several more foods. I must admit that the variety will be really nice!!!
Physically, I am starting to feel a little better and my energy is getting better. I am starting to feel a little more like myself and I am really enjoying the increase in my activity level. Last night I went for a really nice walk and I wasn't even winded one bit. It was so very nice to be outside and just enjoying such a leisurely walk without having to worry about running out of breath or having pain in my back, knees and legs.
Again, I am feeling so grateful everyday for this "new life" that I have been given. Words cannot even begin to express the feeling that I have inside when I get out of bed in the morning and the feeling of "lightness" as I go about my day. It is truly amazing...I would not ever want to change my journey to this point and my decision to have this surgery. It's probably one of the best decisions I have made in my life. I am excited for each tomorrow!
Today, I am three weeks post surgery which means that I am now past the most critical stage postoperatively. This means that my inside incisions are well on their way to being healed and my new stomach pouch is getting used to holding a little more food at one time. I am now able to enjoy a few more selections when it comes to my menu each day. I can have a little tuna salad, 2 small crackers, toast as well as the foods from the previous week...I am still very much enjoying mashed potatoes!!! On Thursday of this week, my diet changes again and I am going to be able to experiment with several more foods. I must admit that the variety will be really nice!!!
Physically, I am starting to feel a little better and my energy is getting better. I am starting to feel a little more like myself and I am really enjoying the increase in my activity level. Last night I went for a really nice walk and I wasn't even winded one bit. It was so very nice to be outside and just enjoying such a leisurely walk without having to worry about running out of breath or having pain in my back, knees and legs.
Again, I am feeling so grateful everyday for this "new life" that I have been given. Words cannot even begin to express the feeling that I have inside when I get out of bed in the morning and the feeling of "lightness" as I go about my day. It is truly amazing...I would not ever want to change my journey to this point and my decision to have this surgery. It's probably one of the best decisions I have made in my life. I am excited for each tomorrow!
Thursday, October 8, 2009
A Good Day!
Today was an amazing day...in fact, probably the best day I have had since surgery. I got to start my week three post op menu, which was so very exciting! This morning I had a 1/2 an egg, scrambled with salt, pepper and ketchup on it! It tasted divine!! It was the best egg I have had in a very very long time. The other thing is that the swelling is going down in my new pouch so I am able to eat a little more food, which actually somewhat resembles a tiny mean rather than just chicken scratch and liquids all day. For lunch, I was able to eat almost a whole 1/2 a piece of toast with butter. It's amazing that as I was nearing the end of the 1/2 piece, I actually felt full! My feeling of full now is a weird pressure in my chest. Then I know to stop eating. I think the thing that is going to hardest for me to adjust to is not being able to drink with my meals. In fact, I can't drink 30 minutes before a meal and have to wait 1 hour after for a drink. I find that I am thirsty all the time, but I can't take a big glug of anything, you know, like you would do on a hot summer day after cutting the lawn. I have to sip sip sip everything and swish it around in my mouth in order to quench my thirst. I have, however, discovered sugar free Popsicles...and boy do I love them!! If I'm at home, I'm usually walking around with one in my hand!!!
Ok, so on to the REALLY REALLY great news of today....I went to the CIBO obesity clinic here in Toronto (where I had regular weigh in's scheduled before and after surgery) to do my usual weigh in, and to my surprise I had lost...ok now, brace yourself....get ready for it...I LOST 31 POUNDS since my surgery...just over two weeks ago!!! That's amazing!!! I have to keep pinching myself to remind myself that this is really true...it's really happening!!! SO, in total now, counting the 35 pounds I lost before surgery, I have lost 66 pounds since the end of July! I have never ever felt better!
Today was a good day!
Today was an amazing day...in fact, probably the best day I have had since surgery. I got to start my week three post op menu, which was so very exciting! This morning I had a 1/2 an egg, scrambled with salt, pepper and ketchup on it! It tasted divine!! It was the best egg I have had in a very very long time. The other thing is that the swelling is going down in my new pouch so I am able to eat a little more food, which actually somewhat resembles a tiny mean rather than just chicken scratch and liquids all day. For lunch, I was able to eat almost a whole 1/2 a piece of toast with butter. It's amazing that as I was nearing the end of the 1/2 piece, I actually felt full! My feeling of full now is a weird pressure in my chest. Then I know to stop eating. I think the thing that is going to hardest for me to adjust to is not being able to drink with my meals. In fact, I can't drink 30 minutes before a meal and have to wait 1 hour after for a drink. I find that I am thirsty all the time, but I can't take a big glug of anything, you know, like you would do on a hot summer day after cutting the lawn. I have to sip sip sip everything and swish it around in my mouth in order to quench my thirst. I have, however, discovered sugar free Popsicles...and boy do I love them!! If I'm at home, I'm usually walking around with one in my hand!!!
Ok, so on to the REALLY REALLY great news of today....I went to the CIBO obesity clinic here in Toronto (where I had regular weigh in's scheduled before and after surgery) to do my usual weigh in, and to my surprise I had lost...ok now, brace yourself....get ready for it...I LOST 31 POUNDS since my surgery...just over two weeks ago!!! That's amazing!!! I have to keep pinching myself to remind myself that this is really true...it's really happening!!! SO, in total now, counting the 35 pounds I lost before surgery, I have lost 66 pounds since the end of July! I have never ever felt better!
Today was a good day!
Tuesday, October 6, 2009
Getting Better...
Today was a good day even though I did get really, really tired this afternoon. I spent the morning tidying up the house and straightening things up a bit. Physically, I am feeling quite well...I just seem to get spurts of energy to do things and then I seem to crash and need a nap. All in all though, I am coming along nicely and still have had no complications. I am able to now eat 2 tablespoons of solid food like mashed potatoes...I've never enjoyed mashed potatoes so much than I am now!!! I soooooooooo look forward to them...with a little butter and garlic...they are amazing....tonight, I have to admit, they tasted like heaven!!!!! I was teasing the kids that I was eating the potatoes of Angels tonight...it tasted so good!!!!
I am looking forward to Thursday morning this week because I can have a tiny bit of scrambled egg!!!! The kids and I are going to get up early and all have scrambled eggs together with ketchup!!!! I can't wait!!! Over the next week then beginning Thursday I will be able to start having a few small crackers, tuna & salmon salad and 1/4 to 1/2 piece of toast with butter!!!! Who knew that such small meals could be soooooooooo exciting!!!
The weight continues to fall off although I would love for it to go faster!!! But the main thing is that I am feeling so very much better. I actually look forward to walking and being out and around now, which is a welcome change.
The highlight of today was receiving a beautiful bouquet of flowers from my work family in the Personnel Department. They are wonderful and certainly remind me of the many people that I have behind me throughout this journey. Thanks everyone!
Saturday, October 3, 2009
Saturday!
Well, today was my first full day with the kids since having surgery and I really wasn't sure what to expect. All in all it was a good day, but I have to admit, the mornings are so very hard for me. I got up relatively early and got all my vitamins and pother medications in as well as my protein shake and also got the kids fed, but then I was a noodle!! I laid back down on the couch while the kids played on the Wii for a short while and I know that I dozed in and out for a while. Needless to say, it was definitely a movie morning!! After I sort of got my feet under me shortly after noon, I was able to enjoy being with the kids a little more and I seemed to have a little more energy. I had a small bit of cottage cheese for lunch. David actually helped me make lunch for him and Ruthie. He put all the grilled cheese sandwiches together and buttered them all ready for me to put on the grill. He did such a good job...and he is doing a fantastic job "looking after me" since coming home. Ruthie set the table and got out all the drinks and David and I finished the grilled cheese and tomato soup. They gobbled up their lunch and then without me even asking they both loaded their dishes into the dishwasher. They are sooooooo grown up and I am so very proud of them. David even helped me this morning clean up the mess that the raccoons made of our garbage in the driveway!!! He wouldn't let me lift the garbage can up and put it back, instead he struggled to get it upright and put it back against the house!!
This afternoon was much better and by the time I actually got out of my jammies and into real clothes, I actually felt like doing a few things. David carried the vacuum cleaner up the stairs all by himself and after we cleaned the hamster and chinchilla cages, he vacuumed the entire top floor of the house. He even vacuumed my bedroom and did an excellent job of it too!!!
After we finished our jobs for the day we went outside for a while and went for a short walk up the street until it rained. It was an amazing feeling to be walking up the street with the kids. I can't even remember the last time we went for a leisurely walk together. It was another "first" for us and certainly a foretaste of what it surely to come in the future.
Each day I think that I feel a little stronger....its hard to tell sometimes because of my energy level and the low blood pressure. I know I feel good inside and I can feel the weight melting off my body. Everyday when I get dressed my clothes are just that much looser and I feel lighter on my feet. I don't huff and puff so badly when I walk up the stairs and I actually look forward to short walks around Shoppers Drug Mart instead of dreading them!!!!
Sometimes I forget that I have actually had the surgery....or I feel that it just isn't real yet...it is such a dream come true for me that it almost feels that it hasn't yet happened!!! Every moment I breathe now, I am breathing with a new depth and feeling of life...the surgery really has been a gift for me...a gift of life....to live a life that I had been deprived of for so long...a life that I never ever in a million years thought that I could live without this wonderful opportunity. I am so excited for my future...I am so excited for the many things I will do in my life now and the moments that I will enjoy that otherwise I would never have known. As I end my day today, my heart is overflowing with true gratefulness and thanksgiving for this amazing life-giving gift.
Well, today was my first full day with the kids since having surgery and I really wasn't sure what to expect. All in all it was a good day, but I have to admit, the mornings are so very hard for me. I got up relatively early and got all my vitamins and pother medications in as well as my protein shake and also got the kids fed, but then I was a noodle!! I laid back down on the couch while the kids played on the Wii for a short while and I know that I dozed in and out for a while. Needless to say, it was definitely a movie morning!! After I sort of got my feet under me shortly after noon, I was able to enjoy being with the kids a little more and I seemed to have a little more energy. I had a small bit of cottage cheese for lunch. David actually helped me make lunch for him and Ruthie. He put all the grilled cheese sandwiches together and buttered them all ready for me to put on the grill. He did such a good job...and he is doing a fantastic job "looking after me" since coming home. Ruthie set the table and got out all the drinks and David and I finished the grilled cheese and tomato soup. They gobbled up their lunch and then without me even asking they both loaded their dishes into the dishwasher. They are sooooooo grown up and I am so very proud of them. David even helped me this morning clean up the mess that the raccoons made of our garbage in the driveway!!! He wouldn't let me lift the garbage can up and put it back, instead he struggled to get it upright and put it back against the house!!
This afternoon was much better and by the time I actually got out of my jammies and into real clothes, I actually felt like doing a few things. David carried the vacuum cleaner up the stairs all by himself and after we cleaned the hamster and chinchilla cages, he vacuumed the entire top floor of the house. He even vacuumed my bedroom and did an excellent job of it too!!!
After we finished our jobs for the day we went outside for a while and went for a short walk up the street until it rained. It was an amazing feeling to be walking up the street with the kids. I can't even remember the last time we went for a leisurely walk together. It was another "first" for us and certainly a foretaste of what it surely to come in the future.
Each day I think that I feel a little stronger....its hard to tell sometimes because of my energy level and the low blood pressure. I know I feel good inside and I can feel the weight melting off my body. Everyday when I get dressed my clothes are just that much looser and I feel lighter on my feet. I don't huff and puff so badly when I walk up the stairs and I actually look forward to short walks around Shoppers Drug Mart instead of dreading them!!!!
Sometimes I forget that I have actually had the surgery....or I feel that it just isn't real yet...it is such a dream come true for me that it almost feels that it hasn't yet happened!!! Every moment I breathe now, I am breathing with a new depth and feeling of life...the surgery really has been a gift for me...a gift of life....to live a life that I had been deprived of for so long...a life that I never ever in a million years thought that I could live without this wonderful opportunity. I am so excited for my future...I am so excited for the many things I will do in my life now and the moments that I will enjoy that otherwise I would never have known. As I end my day today, my heart is overflowing with true gratefulness and thanksgiving for this amazing life-giving gift.
Thursday, October 1, 2009
Getting Used to My New Self...
Today was another blah kind of day....I couldn't seem to get out of bed at a decent hour so I way over slept and then I was behind in my fluid intake....I woke up with a smashing headache, probably from being dehydrated from sleeping so long. Anyway, I got myself up and out of bed and began the long routine of getting my vitamins into me along with my 4oz of protein shake before attempting to have a shower and get ready for the day. It took about and hour AGAIN!!! Even though I did manage to get ready for the day and actually get out of my PJ's, I was exhausted for the entire day. I did go out for a short while in the truck but I was so tired I just came home and relaxed on the couch until the kids came home. In between all that though, I was able to eat 1 teaspoon of cream of wheat with a small bit of vanilla soy milk....it was delicious. Since today was my first day eating food rather than just drinking, I was also able to have 1 teaspoon of mashed potatoes at supper time. Because the amounts that I am eating are so small, I was able to have a little butter and garlic on the potatoes....it was the most delicious supper meal ever!!!!!!!!!! It was soooooooooooooooooo good!!! Both the cream of wheat and potatoes took me about 20 minutes to eat even though they were such small amounts and believe it or not, both times I ate, I was stuffed by the time I finished!!! What a feeling.!
I am hoping for a better energy day tomorrow and not to feel so lethargic. My blood pressure has dropped dramatically as a result of the surgery so I am learning to live with that. The surgeon told me that because my blood pressure was normal before surgery, the rapid weight loss combined with the tiny amounts of food would mean that my blood pressure would remain extremely low for some time. So, I am learning to pace myself more and get used to feeling light headed and what I like to call "noodley" from time to time...small spurts of energy and then I am completely useless....a noodle, more or less!!!
It was wonderful today to see my kids for the first time in almost two weeks. David in particular was very worried about me and could not wait to lay his eyes on me for real!!! I was greeted with many hugs and kisses...although they were both so gentle and careful not to hurt my tummy wounds!! Although I am thoroughly exhausted from simply making Kraft Dinner for the kids tonight and putting them to bed all on my own, I am very happy and contented to have them snuggled in their little beds here at home with me.
So, that was my day....I can't wait to lay my head on my pillow tonight...the dog and cat are already beckoning me to lay back and snuggle!!! They are snoring here beside me as I type. Ahh, the feeling of contentment after a long day.
Dreaming of my strawberry yogurt in the morning....good night!
Today was another blah kind of day....I couldn't seem to get out of bed at a decent hour so I way over slept and then I was behind in my fluid intake....I woke up with a smashing headache, probably from being dehydrated from sleeping so long. Anyway, I got myself up and out of bed and began the long routine of getting my vitamins into me along with my 4oz of protein shake before attempting to have a shower and get ready for the day. It took about and hour AGAIN!!! Even though I did manage to get ready for the day and actually get out of my PJ's, I was exhausted for the entire day. I did go out for a short while in the truck but I was so tired I just came home and relaxed on the couch until the kids came home. In between all that though, I was able to eat 1 teaspoon of cream of wheat with a small bit of vanilla soy milk....it was delicious. Since today was my first day eating food rather than just drinking, I was also able to have 1 teaspoon of mashed potatoes at supper time. Because the amounts that I am eating are so small, I was able to have a little butter and garlic on the potatoes....it was the most delicious supper meal ever!!!!!!!!!! It was soooooooooooooooooo good!!! Both the cream of wheat and potatoes took me about 20 minutes to eat even though they were such small amounts and believe it or not, both times I ate, I was stuffed by the time I finished!!! What a feeling.!
I am hoping for a better energy day tomorrow and not to feel so lethargic. My blood pressure has dropped dramatically as a result of the surgery so I am learning to live with that. The surgeon told me that because my blood pressure was normal before surgery, the rapid weight loss combined with the tiny amounts of food would mean that my blood pressure would remain extremely low for some time. So, I am learning to pace myself more and get used to feeling light headed and what I like to call "noodley" from time to time...small spurts of energy and then I am completely useless....a noodle, more or less!!!
It was wonderful today to see my kids for the first time in almost two weeks. David in particular was very worried about me and could not wait to lay his eyes on me for real!!! I was greeted with many hugs and kisses...although they were both so gentle and careful not to hurt my tummy wounds!! Although I am thoroughly exhausted from simply making Kraft Dinner for the kids tonight and putting them to bed all on my own, I am very happy and contented to have them snuggled in their little beds here at home with me.
So, that was my day....I can't wait to lay my head on my pillow tonight...the dog and cat are already beckoning me to lay back and snuggle!!! They are snoring here beside me as I type. Ahh, the feeling of contentment after a long day.
Dreaming of my strawberry yogurt in the morning....good night!
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